Embedded Files
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:03
I'm Molly and I'm Matthew and this is spilled milk,
Molly 0:06
the show where we cook something delicious. Eat it
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:08
all and you can't have any and today we are on our annual retreat in Claremont, California.
Molly 0:14
That's right. Actually, we're not cooking anything although you did cook breakfast this morning.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:18
Good for me. Yeah, good
Molly 0:19
for you. But we are sitting here is this Wait a minute, what is this? Is this the quad?
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:24
Yeah, this is Marston quad of Pomona College. My one of my two alma mater's. Yes.
Molly 0:28
So yeah, last year we did a walk down memory lane, my memory lane in Oklahoma City this year, I guess for your memory lanes. It was like a cross between Portland which we've already been to together and is a lot of people's memory lanes true.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:42
Like anyone who's watched that show
Molly 0:44
exactly. Or coming here to Claremont where we've had a very So Cal experience. I hate it when people do like Nor Cal So Cal
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:55
San Fran
Molly 0:56
Yeah. Oh my god, that makes me Frisco,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:59
Chinatown. Wow. We can do we got a nickname for every town. What's Oklahoma City's nickname? It's okay, so So, like I was nervous coming here that it would provoke like paralyzing waves of nostalgia, that would that would leave me unable to function.
Molly 1:18
Are you really? are you just saying that?
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:20
Well, I mean, I'm like, I'm like hyping it up for the purposes of drama. Because this show is all about the the dramatic arc.
Molly 1:26
Yeah, we like to turn it up to 11.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:28
Yeah, no, but it turns out, like I don't feel much connection to this college anymore, despite having spent two and a half years here and then dropping out.
Molly 1:37
And it's been interesting hearing more about your dropout story, which which we're going to go into in
Unknown Speaker 1:41
a minute. Ready just before this.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:45
It looks it seems that Twyla Tharp also dropped out of this college, john Cade and john cage so all like, like the three of us really are like we've made we've, you know, made something of ourselves despite dropping out of college.
Molly 1:58
Yes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:58
All equally.
Molly 1:59
I mean, yeah, they didn't have podcasts. So Well, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:03
mean, john Cage's podcast. You see where I'm going with this?
Molly 2:06
Yeah, yeah. Very quiet.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:09
Yeah, but short anyway,
Molly 2:10
can we go down memory lane? Can you walk us through, you know, what you what you thought you were gonna find here and what it was like when you arrived and some of like, you know, salient moments in your history at Pomona College.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:23
Okay, so I arrived here in the fall of 1993. I was on the day I turned 18. Oh, yes. And so
Molly 2:30
that would have been August 28,
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:32
August 28 1993. You know, it's kind of like if you picture Southern California and then also picture like a stereotypical small liberal arts college. That's what this is. The wind the wind rustles through the willow trees. You can hear it. A lot of wind on the recording.
Molly 2:52
There's their their mission style rooves Yeah, there. There are a lot of succulents. Palm tree, Molly is obsessed with the land Okay, tree.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:01
So when my parents used to come live come visit me when I was going to school here. My dad would not stop talking about the plants and how beautiful the plants are and how they're so different from the plants in the Northwest. And like this was something that I had given less of a fuck about. And then limahl he started doing the same thing.
Molly 3:20
I started doing it on the drive in from the airport. Yeah, I mean, it was immediate. I turned into Richard amster
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:27
right and then at one point, I was like, hey, look at that tree that tree it's such a cool tree and you and Abby were like that is like the most regular tree No, it
Molly 3:34
was totally just a normal like deciduous tree with no leaves on it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:37
Yep. So we we've had a lot of conflict over plants. Are they good or bad? No,
Molly 3:41
we're gonna we're gonna get to that but first Okay, memory lane. You came here in 1993. Right?
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:46
I don't know what what else do you want to know? Like, like,
Molly 3:48
well, so Okay, you met Laurie here?
Unknown Speaker 3:51
Which
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:52
of the following year okay.
Molly 3:54
Is there anything we should know about your freshman year?
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:57
You were in a band I was in a band. We like the band didn't really get off the ground kind of until fall of my my sophomore year but we we met and like got together and started practicing like spring I think
Molly 4:09
I So was this band always It was called flax. Yes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:12
It was actually originally called June and then we learned that there was another band called June and so we changed it to flack
Molly 4:17
these are the most limp dick band names ever
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:21
heard. June is a terrible name but even flax it's like years ago let that go. I'm
Molly 4:28
deal with it. You got this isn't like a hippie see that people grind up and put in baked goods and people. And like, Why? Why did you guys choose this name.
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:39
So when we decided that we had to change the name, even though we probably didn't because we never got big enough that some other band would have actually cared that we had the same name. We had a really hard time coming up with a new name naming a band is hard and we didn't do a very good job. Okay, but once I got into that band, you know something, something happened within me and I and I decided to like become A rock star was going to be my thing. And like I held on to that dream much longer than it deserved. And
Molly 5:06
this is something I didn't know about you until this weekend. I mean, I've heard you mentioned being in bands and I knew that you met Laurie sort of around the time you were in a band. But I didn't understand the degree to which you thought that like, your, your thing in your life was that you were going to be a musician in a band.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:25
Yes, I really. And the reason that didn't happen is like mostly because move few very few people get to do that and make it their career, but also because I wasn't really willing to put in the work that it would have taken.
Molly 5:36
Yeah, okay. Okay. Well, fair enough. I mean, I think you're hard on yourself. Yeah. But But
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:40
I mean, like, you know, and I don't know if any listeners care about any of this stuff. But like, I loved like, being on stage and playing songs and like to practice, like, going to band practice and hated like, everything else about being in a band, like involves a lot of making plans, like trying to get the band booked, which like, usually fell to me and I have never liked being in charge of making plans. Setting up and breaking down equipment is one of my least favorite things in the world. Okay, hold on. Yeah.
Molly 6:08
So okay, I first learned about or I got my first like picture of what the Claremont Colleges were like, yeah. Through Reading Your, your YA novel,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:19
our secret better lives, which is available wherever books are sold, but mostly on Amazon. Okay.
Molly 6:24
Anyway, it is a story set on a fictional campus called Atwood college. Right? But which is quite faithfully based on the Claremont Colleges.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:35
Yeah, for what for some reason, I thought it would sound cool in the book if the college was in Los Angeles proper. So I moved where the campus was geographically within Southern California, but kept the campus geography the same.
Molly 6:46
Okay. Okay. And I also knew from reading hungry monkey, I think that was where I learned about your meeting, Laurie, and about your assessment of like, how hot she was, and sort of like just what you two were to each other in those early days. And so anyway, we were talking about this the first night that we were here on the trip. And Matthew, you know, of course, was texting with Laurie about it. And then Laurie sent us a long email in which she recounts her side of your early days. Matthew, do you want to start it out? Do you want to tell us how you and Laurie met? Yes. Okay.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:21
So I was it wasn't it wasn't just like one single event for me. But like, we were playing a show behind the library on the lawn, which is not a very good place for a show. We walked over there and checked out like the scene of the crime, but it's it's just a like a grassy quad behind the main library. So my band was playing there for some reason, and she was in the audience. Okay, and I was the lead singer, and
Molly 7:43
was she like throwing herself at you? Or getting up close to the stage and like wearing a low cut shirt and angling herself? So you could see down or shirt or any anything?
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:52
None of these?
Molly 7:53
This is disappointing. Okay. Well, can I read her side of the story? Okay.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:57
The first thing I want to say is our classic he said she said segment.
Molly 8:01
Yeah, the first thing I want to say is that when it producer Abby and I read this email, I think Abby put it best Abby was like, I want Lori to write a romance novel. And if at the end of this episode, any of our listeners feel that way? I think that we should start like a you know, a letter writing campaign to wotso because that's how people get things done. Let's give out our email address letter writing campaign. All right, here we go. Okay, this is Watson's letter. I may skip around a little bit when I started my first year at Scripps August 1994. You'll note that that Watson is a year younger than Matthew right I was living in a first year hallway in grace Hall. And besides my roommate the first two people I got to be friends with were Sarah and Molly who lived down the hall from different different Molly me. Molly already knew her way around Claremont because her boyfriend Ryan was a sophomore at Pomona. And she had come to visit him a couple times the previous year. So that first week of college before classes started Mali rounded up a bunch of people from our Hall saying my boyfriend who goes to Pomona is in a band and they're playing this afternoon. You should come. This sounds like a really great YA novel. I mean, sure, yeah. Sarah and I and some other people from our Hall went too long. The band was for Pomona guys.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:10
Yeah, it's one of the four was
Molly 9:12
playing on the lawn outside Honnold library.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:14
I feel like I should give a shout out to all the guys like the part in the in the song where like, near the end of the show, where like they're jamming and like the singer says, you know, on guitar, Ryan Thompson, Brian Frye on drums pure upon Tam Gera people in the band,
Molly 9:32
those with the accompanying sounds of their instruments. Oh, yeah. Thank you and how you get to do like a little guitar solo and yours. Yeah. All right. Getting back to what Laurie said. I think there was some kind of outdoor event Iran or something their show coincided with. They played some original songs and one cover that I knew begin to begin by REM I've always been a real sucker for guys who like REM Yeah, that's fair. Matthew was the lead singer. So I noticed him Laurie. Put asterisks Around notice. So I noticed him that day, but he was the lead singer in a band and I was just some freshmen. After that our paths crossed occasionally when monster came out that fall. I know we both bought it at Rhino Records. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:14
We're gonna talk about Rhino Records in a little bit.
Molly 10:16
Once when Ryan was over, and I was trying to get anyone who would listen to dive deep into the lyrics of what's the frequency Kenneth with me, Ryan said, You know who you should talk to. But I didn't pursue it because I was a little shy and also very busy with college life. Okay, hold on. We're
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:32
gonna skip ahead a little bit. Yeah, skip the whole part about Steve because like, Fuck, Steve.
Molly 10:36
Yeah, Laurie Laurie was she phrases it as we got together a few times
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:43
we would hang out with this guy. So Steve, yeah, to be fair at this time, like I was occasionally hanging out. Well, I went out a couple dates with Sarah, who I like a couple years ago ran into in an airport and we like had a nice conversation and never discussed the fact never even alluded to the fact that we went on a couple of dates. Okay.
Molly 11:01
All right, here we go. Now we're fast forwarding to January 1995, I started casually wandering down to Pomona with Molly to hang out with her and Ryan, which she did a lot still a
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:11
different model. And
Molly 11:12
sometimes when we were hanging out in Ryan's room, Matthew would wander in from his room door Dad, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:17
remember
Molly 11:18
very well would talk a little I started to realize that maybe I should break things off with Steve mm smart because I was way more into this other guy I occasionally exchanged a few words with and the other guy I was kind of going out with
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:32
May I interrupt here because I just remembered a detail like Dude, first of all, do you think any of our listeners care about this? I'm worried that they're gonna be like, this is the last thing we wanted to hear about.
Molly 11:41
No, I can assume that. I'm going to zoom ahead. We're
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:43
almost getting to but I do remember at one point like wandering over to Ryan's room when when, when it was just Ryan was hanging out and asking I believe in pretty much exactly these words like if I liked Laurie Molly's friend, would that be bad? And I was like, I don't care. I don't need my permission.
Molly 12:01
This this next. This next paragraph feels extremely relatable to me. Some nights I would go to the computer lab and send emails to my high school friends. So one night I also emailed Ryan, this is Molly, other Molly's boyfriend. I don't remember what I emailed him about. And I very casually slipped in a question about an REM song and even more casually see seed Matthew, on the email. This seems so relatable. Yeah, he wrote back exclamation point I wrote back. Occasionally, we saw each other in person and would blush and stammer and then go back to our respective computer labs to bang out emails showing how smart we were
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:37
going back somewhere to bang I've ever heard. Oh, my God, I
Molly 12:40
love this. Okay. On Saturday night, February 11. I love the specificity of
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:46
Oh, I remember that
Molly 12:47
Molly invited me to come along to meet Ryan and some friends at the coop for shakes. Chelsea did that Matthew was coming. We sat at a big table with friends and occasionally caught each other's eye and blushed and smiled. The next morning, February 12. I woke up and went to the computer closet in my dorm computer closet. And I found what I was hoping for which was a long email from Matthew toward the very end. He said he'd been working on this email for a long time. In fact, he had been in the middle of writing it when we went out to the coop the night before, and wanted to tell me that quote, I have a serious crush on you. Yes, well, I didn't recognize exactly what I was feeling. But I think at the time, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I remember a lot of things about the rest of that Sunday involving Rhino Records, the Pomona computer lab in Matthews dorm room, but since this is already really long, I'll just say that I knew by the end of the day on Sunday, February 12 1995. That that was it. We were all in forever and everything I just knew.
Okay, Matthew, yeah. All right. That was great. But now I want to hear about
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:59
this is all like,
Molly 14:00
let's skip ahead. I have always thought of you as the most risk averse person. I know. I think that's pretty much true to myself. Yeah. Okay. You dropped out of college. Yeah. Your junior year and move to Seattle. And because and when I asked you why you dropped out of college you just said Laurie and I didn't really see the point of going to college
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:26
I think probably describe it differently, but like I wasn't like I hated the weather here. I was not really interested in going to class and was like I remember I think that fall I had this experience I
Molly 14:38
just find all of this shocking Matthew like it would have never occurred to me to just be like I don't like going to class I'm gonna drop
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:46
out Yeah, I don't know like I had this he definitely care. I think that for that I was in a like an African literature class. And I had not done any of the reading and was like called up to be on like the panel that had to discuss the reading And just like fucking died, not done
Molly 15:02
any of the reading because you and Lori were reading each other's emails so to speak. No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:11
I mean, that didn't help, certainly, but I think she was getting her homework done fine. I just did not care.
Molly 15:18
So just to reiterate, you dropped out in like January of your junior year. It was January of Laurie sophomore year. How did her parents not come like string you up?
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:29
Oh, I think they wanted to. But I think I think they like looked at the situation and was like, you know, there's there isn't any intervention, we can make that that's not going to make things even worse. So they weren't happy about it. My parents weren't happy about it.
Molly 15:43
And then to make things even weirder, you guys then went and got married two months later, because as everyone knows, there is nothing more like Rockstar than getting married when you're 21.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:56
Yeah, I like looking back at this, like 25 years laters that right? What did you guys get married in 9596. But like, like, the whole thing started like 20 over 25 years ago. None of it makes any sense. Like, if we have younger listeners don't do any of the things I did. It's, it would be a terrible idea
Molly 16:16
that you guys are happily married. Yeah, but if you want, okay, how have you managed? We're all in. But I thought I was all in. But you're you How can you know you're all in when you're 20? You can't?
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:29
Like just luck. You know? Like, like most exactly like you said, like, like most people who did the same thing would not end up together and would probably regret it. Okay, okay, we just we just work really well for each other.
Molly 16:41
Do you have any memories of places you had sex on campus?
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:46
Only only our respective dorm rooms? And most mostly mine? Because Laurie had a roommate. Did you ever make up on this quad? I don't think so. But it's possible. Did you ever? I'm sure you have lots of questions, but like the answer to all of them is going to be the most boring possible answer. Okay. I should start making some stuff up. All right. All right. So it's an it's an improv based show.
Molly 17:10
So here's what I want to say. So yesterday, Matthew led me and Abby on a walking tour of campus. Yeah. And that was when I'm more fully metamorphosed into a dad, specifically, probably your dad. I wanted to know a lot about the history of these colleges, which
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:25
I looked I looked up and had some information.
Molly 17:28
Yeah, I wanted to know a lot about the local industry.
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:31
You asked what what are the local industries are out here? And like, basically, every every question, Molly asked, the phrase that immediately popped divided was, I don't fucking know.
Molly 17:42
Here's what's weird. Like, you know, I haven't been back to my college campus since four years. I think I've been back once since I graduated. I don't remember it being this quiet,
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:52
be quiet.
Molly 17:54
And I don't remember like the surrounding neighborhoods being this quiet. Well, okay. So
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:59
we're we've only been here on the weekend. And I think things will be a little more lively on campus like tomorrow. But I don't know it's there. Not a lot of students on an entire campus. There's
Molly 18:11
it's really quiet here.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:13
It's pretty spacious. And it's like, I don't know, 1600 students or something. We went to the library and Molly and Abby tried to well, they got me to talk to the person at the information desk to ask if we could find old issues of the of the campus newspaper that might have my column in them. Thank God, we didn't find that.
Molly 18:32
Matthew also said that the stacks if you walked out into the stacks, which are in the center of the library, the library is really lovely. Library and my college felt much like darker and more beige. This was very like light and bright, and it felt really nice in there. But anyway, the stacks were in the middle of the room. And Matthew kind of walked out on to the stacks. And you were like, there used to be like a rumor that people were having
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:01
like this because has
Molly 19:02
because the floor kind of wobbles Well, I walked out there and it's seriously so wobbly and so noisy and like,
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:11
have sex on the course nobody's having sex in the library. But that's what makes it a good rumor. Okay, so so there are a bunch of campus rumors and like I realized I didn't realize until later that like, like the to, like two of the most popular rumors on campus are like rumors that you hear on many, many hundreds of college campuses. Okay, Emily, one of them was that when they built the bookstore or in some, some colleges, it's the library. They didn't account for the weight of the books when they designed the building. It's always likely it's gonna collapse someday because of the weight of those books. Yeah, very plausible. Yeah. And then the other one is that the reason there's a pool on campus is because many years ago, a student drowned and their parents endowed a pool at the school so people could learn to swim and not suffer the same fate. Don't think that's true either. So we've also been like hanging out Out in the surrounding community, we went to the Claremont village, which is the shopping area just outside the colleges. And we keep saying the college's like it's a consortium of five colleges that all kind of work together, but all maintain their own identities that people guard very selfishly, as you might expect.
Molly 20:18
We went to a tea shop, we went to Rhino Records for those of you who have read our secret better lives.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:25
This is what rhombus record is based on Rhino Records has barely changed at all. I don't think they have listening stations anymore. And I don't know if they do in stores there didn't seem to be a place for like in store performances, and have more vinyl, but other than that, it was pretty much exactly the same. And while we were in the store, they put on one of my favorite obscure 90s Indies, indie albums, and I was just in heaven. It was the Geraldine fairbairns lost somewhere between the Earth and my home great album 1994 I think I don't know. Yeah, and then we
Molly 20:56
went to the yogurt place. Oh, we got to the choices to Oh 21 choices. Yes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:00
Which has gone in more of like marble slabs than I remember but it was good.
Molly 21:06
We here is one thing that has been perplexing. Oh yeah. Trying to find a place to go out and have a cocktail like trying to find a bar that is not like in a like a mall. Right. Like the first night we tried to go to a place that was kind of like a foe industrial open weird space too brightly lit. Then we went to an awesome place. We were like, Okay, well the good bars are probably going to be in Pomona. Right. So
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:30
I mean, the issue here is that Clermont is a very wealthy city. And that's like the worst place to go if you're trying to find a bar.
Molly 21:36
So we had to cross over to the correct side of the rights, which was Pomona. We went to the back door.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:42
Yes. Yeah. Fantastic.
Molly 21:44
It was fantastic. Then last night, we went to the cove, which was in West Covina. Yes. That was pretty sweet.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:51
Yes, Abby, I really really wanted to go to West Covina because we're fans of crazy ex girlfriend and in West Covina did not disappoint. That bar was great.
Molly 21:58
Yeah, I really enjoyed it both times we had female bartenders who were definitely like taking no shit. Yeah, and I just loved Yeah, it was awesome. I wondered what it would be like to be them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:07
Yeah, so what like what I mean, I know we have other topics we need to cover but like what what have we learned from this trip that would be useful?
Molly 22:14
That you are just an absolute anti establishment terian
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:22
wait anti I have an absolute antidisestablishmentarianism. Ultra microscopic silica volcanic Kony osis.
Unknown Speaker 22:33
Oh,
Molly 22:35
you learned that recently? From microscopic silica.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:39
I loved learning that word. When I was a kid. I thought it was so cool. I
Molly 22:42
never learned it as a kid anyway. Okay, so you are an a Rebel Without a Cause?
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:48
Yeah, no, or like too many causes? Maybe
Molly 22:50
Maybe I also just had no idea that you had always expected to be a rock star. I also had no idea like I was such a rule follower as a kid. I think it never occurred to me that you could drop out of college and be successful. Yeah, I don't know. What a success you are.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:10
I did go back to college. And that's the thing is like, I I have gotten to a point in my life where I've been spending way more time than is healthy like, feeling feeling like I wish I had like God to know what it was like to be a rock star.
Molly 23:22
But because you're approaching that magical age, when like everything seems like your life.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:27
Yeah. Now. Age 47. Okay, but have you we host a successful read like,
Molly 23:33
we are like we're we are like get paid comedy. The few people listen to this show
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:40
that would think what we're doing with the show like, has got to be so much more satisfying than being a rock star because like there's so much less equipment to set up.
Unknown Speaker 23:48
That's true.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:50
That's that's the main thing. Yes. We watched an erotic thriller. Oh
Molly 23:54
my god. Yes. Okay. And we're probably gonna have an exciting announcement soon. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:58
hope so. Is that we're starring in an erotic thriller.
Molly 24:03
And that's really what we were down here for.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:05
It's a campus thriller and no nudity clause in my contract, but Molly has no such thing. My
Molly 24:10
god I got my breasts enlarged just for this. Yes,
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:14
this this morning.
Molly 24:17
They're definitely leaking some fluids. Gosh.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:22
I thought I thought you just like when would the magical thinking No, no, no. Okay. Anyway.
Molly 24:27
But last night, as is now our tradition on our corporate retreats. We watched an erotic thriller. We watched wild things. Yep. Which has a star studded cast.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:37
Yeah, really like big stars like Denise Richards and
Molly 24:41
Miss Campbell. Matt Dillon. Yeah. Bill Murray.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:45
Bill Murray.
Unknown Speaker 24:45
Robert. Robert
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:46
Wagner is in it. Yeah. Theresa Russell,
Unknown Speaker 24:50
who is Teresa, mom.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:51
Oh, okay. And it's a it's a very bad movie that we enjoyed very much.
Molly 24:56
What else do we have to say here?
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:58
Well, I want to talk a little bit about the coop fan. Because like, there's always the question of like, like, you know, if you if you revisit like something that you used to love, like you never be the same, and the answer is probably not, but we, when I was in when I was here, we always used to like go like late nights or sometimes afternoons to the coop fountain and get case ideas and milkshakes. It's just like the snack counter lunch counter at the Student Union. And, like, right after I left here, they rebuilt the Student Union into like, this beautiful, like massive edifice that we called the coop Mahal, but that was like after my time, so I'd never really seen it. And it's pretty striking. The only really beautiful place was kind of a dump. But the we did go to the coop fountain. The KC is in milkshakes, we're not as I remembered them, but we're good
Molly 25:41
at the case study. Oh, yeah. No, I I chick was fine. Yeah. You know, I was stunned by how small it was.
Unknown Speaker 25:49
Yeah. And like there were else the coop itself or the coop fountain,
Molly 25:54
the coop fountain here. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:56
think you're under estimating just how few people there are on campus.
Molly 26:01
I yeah, I think I can't get it through my head.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:05
Yeah, like, I mean, it's not that big a campus but like 1600 kids, most of whom are like in their rooms like fingering each other or studying at most times. It's just not very many people.
Molly 26:17
We have seen a really good proportion of the student the students that we have seen a good proportion of them are skateboarding.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:25
Yeah, so which I feel like is what I came here for right and they like I don't know what we were expecting Exactly. But the the students we are absolutely invisible to them.
Molly 26:36
Oh my god, I could be usually when I walked down the street I at least like I'm kind of terrible about staring like I really stare at people. I don't mean to but usually they look at me back at some point. And nobody I'm invisible here.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:49
I'm old. Yeah, but like, I've tried to think like What crime we could be committing like right in the middle of this quad and everywhere. We just walked by like, do you
Molly 26:56
think if we started filming our erotic campus thriller? Oh, God now I'm giving away all the secrets about our erotic campus thriller? Oh, no, it's
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:04
okay. Like, like, let this B that like the the teaser trailer, okay. Okay, so what's it going to be called?
Molly 27:10
It's gonna be called something something card something?
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:19
Is it gonna be like, like a supernatural erotic thriller? That's a sub genre. I
Molly 27:24
feel like that's but then we still have to work in like, Are they a movie about because now we're having too many elements, the supernatural college campus erotic scenes and some sort of element of danger or crime.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:39
I think these things can all easily all fit into one movie,
Molly 27:42
but hey, where's the supernatural here for you? Oh, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:45
was just thinking like, it's like the there's like an enchantment and the quad that like makes people like, overcome with uncontrollable desire when they step into the quad.
Molly 27:53
It makes them invisible to so like, oh, tons of people fucking out on the quad right now. We can't see them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:59
Oh, that's that's sad. Seems upsetting. Like, I can't I'm missing out on the orgy. Why does this keep happening to me?
Molly 28:07
There is a couple lying behind us. And look, she's got her leg like on his head. Okay. Seems like a weird sex move.
Unknown Speaker 28:16
It does it really dining him down? Yeah, we should go interview that we should. I mean, now like I mean, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:22
think I noticed one time when I I went to San Francisco to like do a reported story a few years ago. Which it went it went really well actually. But I haven't done that since. Like I brought the recorder and and microphone and like went and interviewed people on the street. And like if you have a like a little recorder and a microphone with like, the clown nose on it. People will think you're a reporter. They'll ml like stop and talk to you.
Molly 28:47
What would you want? What you want to ask those kids over there?
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:49
Like what do you call that position? I guess?
Molly 28:51
Yeah. Or like, Hey, I don't know. I'm, I'm just so inappropriate.
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:56
I just know. Let's hear it. You were gonna
Molly 28:58
know I just wanted to be like, so how do you guys do it? Yeah, like how to cut like, cuz I had sex like, a total of like, six times in college.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:07
Did you like make actual bedpost notches because they're gonna bill you for that at the end of the semester. Believe me, I
Molly 29:13
Well, I think like two of the times we're in like some of the some guy's apartment off campus.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:19
Oh, yeah. That
Molly 29:20
and then like four or maybe it was more like eight of the times were in Paris. Yeah, I think that and then I came back to campus and it was like real dry after that. So anyway, but I just I'm like, Yeah, I wonder like,
Unknown Speaker 29:32
you know, are
Molly 29:33
kids today? Like, more adventurous or like, are they? Well, I mean, the Oh, are they are they like really into consent?
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:42
I hope so. I
Molly 29:42
hope so too. But like, are they you know, like, What? What is sex to them? What what, like, what did these guys do last night? Yeah, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:49
mean, we could we could pretend that we're like sex researchers. What are they gonna make us produce a license?
Molly 29:55
What are you gonna say your name is?
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:56
Oh, doctor. All came to mind was Dr. Mark
Unknown Speaker 30:04
was thinking
Molly 30:08
My name is
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:12
wow this is bad it's better be good
Molly 30:15
what's gonna work better if I were a man that's why cuz I was gonna say Mr. Bader
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:23
his show is canceled All right. Okay, so tune in tune in next week when I when we debut with our erotic thriller makes it makes his debut on the big street screen at con extreme extreme. And and we win the the palm d'Or which is also a sex movie. I don't know.
Molly 30:45
I mean, everybody,
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:47
everybody have fun tonight,
Molly 30:49
everybody, Wang Chung tonight.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:52
spilled out podcast.com facebook.com slash spilled milk podcast. like where do you think we should go next? Like we Yeah, we've we've now decided that our thing is, when we when we do our annual retreat. First of all, we're going to tell you about it in excruciating detail that you did not ask for. And secondly, we want to go somewhere as boring as possible.
Molly 31:11
Although we we've talked about some places that we Yeah, we might
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:15
go to Detroit.
Molly 31:16
I also don't understand why we aren't talking about going to producer Abby's Memory Lane, which would take us to Budapest. That's
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:23
right. We should really do that. Like really I
Molly 31:25
should do to past Thank you. I'm trying to be authentic. And I mean, like I've met that's really like central to your brand is authenticity really is mine, too.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:35
Yeah. All right. And until next time, thank you for listening to spilled milk.
Molly 31:39
I'm Mr. Bader,
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:40
and I'm Dr. McFly, endocrinologist. I mean, I don't think
Molly 31:53
specialty within endocrinology. That's like McFly, endocrinology?
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:57
No, I just thought like, I figured I figured if I wanted really wanted to, like develop the character, I need to know like, what kind of doctor I am. And that seems like, like, people don't really know what that is. I think if you say you're an endocrinologist, it sounds impressive. And they're not going to ask you too many questions that you can't answer because you're not a real doctor. Yeah. So basically what I'm saying is if someone's if someone says they're an endocrinologist, that means they're a fake doctor, trying to pass themselves off as a doctor to ask people weird sex questions. That's just a fact.
Molly 32:27
That's the experience I've had a couple of times I've gone to an endocrinologist. They're like, Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:32
what did you do last night? glandular Lee speaking.
Unknown Speaker 32:39
Okay, bye.
Molly 32:50
I'm trying to find something funny to say. You don't have to
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